The brave warrior

[Shadow the Hedgehog]

Chapter 1: The blue ninja.

It was a cold night as an innocent village was peaceful until a monster came and attacked the village which the monster was striking the housrs with heat ray until a brave 25 year old villager steps in to confront the monster as the brave villager said "Leave my home village alone or be slayed by my hands" so the monster looks dirctly at the brave villager as the monster roared "Yo stupid human dare to confront me the monster called Kayor" which the monster goes to attack the brave villager until a miracle happend.

As the miracle happend a blue comet lands right at the brave villager giving that brave villager a special battle gear that is legendary to all warriors who blessed the gear with mujik stones so the brave villager brcame the blue ninja which the blue ninja yelled "Now that I have been upgraded up with stuff acording to the blue prophacy I Antony will take you down but fear not your death will be something to remember".

[Michelle Mackenzie (Admin)]

It was a cold night as an innocent village was peaceful until a monster came and attacked the village FULL STOP NEEDED HERE
-What is the name of the village?
- What does the village look like?
-What does the monster look like?
-How did the monster attack the village?

DELETE (which) CAPS (the) monster was striking the HOUSES (housrs) with heat ray until a brave 25 year old villager steps in to confront the monster as the brave villager said "Leave my home village alone or be slayed by my hands FULL STOP NEEDED"
-Who was the 25 year old?
-Was the 25 year old male or female?
-What did this person look like?

CAPS (so) the monster looks dirctly at the brave villager as the monster roared "YOU (Yo) stupid human dare to confront me the monster called Kayor QUESTION MARK NEEDED" which the monster goes to attack the brave villager until a miracle happend.
- What was the miricle?
-How did the miricle happen?


As the miracle happend COMMA NEEDED HERE a blue comet lands right at the brave villager giving that brave villager a special battle gear that is legendary to all warriors COMMA who blessed the gear with mujik stones so the brave villager BECAME (brcame) the blue ninja FULL STOP.
DELETE (which) CAPS (the) blue ninja yelled "Now that I have been upgraded up with stuff acording to the blue prophacy I Antony will take you down but fear not COMMA your death will be something to remember".

Overall, it was extremely unrealistic.
Miricles don't happen just to occure out of no where.
Maybe a miricle could be good timing of someone already armed would race over to help.
You need to take a good look at these opening paragraphs, and really need to be edited and thought out.

[Shadow the Hedgehog]

After the blue ninja spoke the blue ninja went home to prepare to battle the monster as the blue ninja thought to himself "I am Antony Leonardo a 25 year old male with Blonde hair, Blue eyes, Black like eye brows and geared up with arour along with a weapon of my own choice which has to be no weapons at all".

After the blue ninja Antony Leonardo arrived home Antony opens his hall of battle gear to equip himself with battle gloves that resembles a pair of gauntlets then Antony took of to confront the monster which is a three headed black dragon with a spikey tail so Antony arrived as Antony yelled "Hey monster I see what you actaully look like and I can not allow you to harm what is special to me inspecially that I am gonna be a high Ninja someday".