The Serpent

[dragon]

This is a beginning without story... But if it gets a story one day, I will post it too

The Serpent

The wind whistled softly in the trees, the high grass waved like a silver ocean, glittering in the starlight. Jahira took a deep breath, enjoying the sting of the freezing air. The cold felt good, but it couldn't ease the burning inside of her, the fire that drove her out of her hiding place.
Something rustled in the undergrowth.
She opened her mouth slightly, her tongue stroke along the poison fang at her gums, while her body tensed in anticipation.
Time to go for a hunt.
Without causing any noise, she moved beneath the tall trees and than stood again, motionless, waiting. For a moment, the world seemed to hold its breath. Then, with a sudden burst of noise, a stag jumped out of the undergrowth, stirring up the small birds, and started to run. Jahira chased it, leaped at it fast as lightning, and with a hiss she sank her fang into its neck. She felt it shiver as the venom took its way through the running body, felt the movement get out of order, the legs stumble, and then her prey fell to the ground, laying motionless. A small drop of blood trickled from her fang, the metallic taste filled her mouth.
It wasn't enough. And it wasn't deer she was longing to hunt.
The rage swept through her body, fueling her wish for revenge.
I shall have it. I will find the ones who wronged me, and then I shall kill them. Teach them something they have forgotten:
Never enrage a serpent!

Edit: almost forgot - $20 for critique
dragon

[Michelle Mackenzie (Admin)]

AGREED

It's very good, though I can see why you are having trouble thinking of a storyline.
Maybe it can be a snake that was locked up for a long time in a cage, and has gotten free.
Then, it would have a reason to want to hunt someone.
I hope this helps give you a story idea. Other than that, it is very good.

[dragon]

Thanks!

About the storyline... Well my stories have a life of their own, so maybe if I just sit back and wait a bit, this one will decide to show itself
And if not, thats not too bad - I have enough ^^

[Michelle Mackenzie (Admin)]

Your welcome.
But you knew I like it anyway.